Tuesday, February 01, 2005

THE Defining Song of the 80's

Bill Simmons answers one of life's enduring questions:

Q: What do you think is THE defining song of the 80's? Not the most popular, but the song that if you were putting a disc of one song in a time capsule for 100 years and they were to open it, what song would scream "This is why the 80s rules." I say it's Blue Monday by New Order, but I'm open to suggestions -- Lance Hughes, Lubbock, TX

SG: That's a great "Driving on a road trip and needing something to argue about for 50 miles" question. In my opinion, a quintessential 80's song should accomplish five things:

A. It should make you think that, except for the rare exceptions -- like the Killers or Franz Ferdinand -- they don't make music like this anymore.
B. It should be happy and moody at the same time, the last song you would ever hear before driving your car off a bridge. No Crockett. No Tubbs. No dice.
C. It should have a definite beat -- you could dance to it, clean your car to it, drive 110 MPH to it, etc -- and it should definitely sound like something that could have been used in Miami Vice (in an opening montage or a "driving around Miami and checking out hot chicks" scene, not a car chase or a "Tubbs hangs out in a strip joint and pretends he's Jamaican" scene).
D. It should make you question your own sexuality for about 0.87 seconds before you say, "Ah, screw it, it's a good song."
E. It should be dated, cheesy and a little overdramatic ... but not so much that the song isn't still enjoyable even now.

Anyway, these would be my six choices (with apologies to "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, which wasn't quite morose enough since it was about an orgasm):

1. "The Promise," by When In Rome
2. "Suedehead," by Morrissey
3. "Uncertain Smile," by The The
4. "A Forest," by The Cure
5. "The Killing Moon," by Echo and the Bunnymen
6. "Age of Consent," by New Order

So there you go. And yes, I spent about 90 minutes coming up with that list. And you wonder what I do all day.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jay's top 80's songs (in no particular order):

Violent Femmes "Add it Up"
The Church "Under the Milky Way"
Men at Work "Who Can it be Now?"
The Outfield "Your Love"
The Clash "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
U2 "In God's Country"

They don't really meet your criteria (heck the Maimi Vice theme would have been my first choice but you seemed to VETO it right out of the gate) but they are the ones I remember loving. I'm still looking for my copy of the "Progressive Cruise Tape" Ed got for us. How many times did we listen to that thing???

Doug Fields said...

Here are what I consider the most important songs of the 80's (not my favorite):

1. "Thriller", MJ - As much as I hate to admit it, MJ defined the 80's.
2. "Fight For Your Right To Party", Beastie Boys - These white boys mainstreamed hip-hop for the masses.
3. "We Are The World" - Various Artists. I mean, it didn't get any bigger than this.
4. "With or Without You", U2 - Cemented U2 as THE rock band of the 80's.
5. "We Got The Beat", Go Go's - Introduced the girl band to mainstream music.

Anonymous said...

You guys are 80's rookies.

Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners has to be in the Top 5.
Also "99 Luftballoons" by Nena is a classic 80's song.

In honor of Greg Fields, you must include David & David's "Welcome to the Boomtown". I think this song was in his cassette player every time I visited.

Gary

Doug Fields said...

I forgot about David & David. I also should have mentioned "Shout" by Tears for Fears. Classic.