Some belated Father's Day wisdom from Homer Simpson:
The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening!
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
I never apologize Lisa, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am.
Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.
I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood.
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