But there is one obstacle to soccer acceptance that seems insurmountable: the flop-'n'-bawl.
Turn on a World Cup game, and within 15 minutes you'll see a grown man fall to the ground, clutch his leg and writhe in agony after being tapped on the shoulder by an opposing player. Soccer players do this routinely in an attempt to get the referees to call foul. If the ref doesn't immediately bite, the player gets up and moves along.
Making a show of your physical vulnerability runs counter to every impulse in American sports. And pretending to be hurt simply compounds the outrage. Basketball has floppers, but the players who do it--like Bill Laimbeer, whose flopping skills helped the Detroit Pistons win two NBA championships--are widely vilified and, in any case, they're pretending to be fouled; they never pretend to be injured. When baseball players are hit by a pitch, the code of conduct dictates that they can walk it off, if they must, but by no means may they rub the point of impact. And pretending you're hurt? There's not even a rule against that--every red-blooded American baseball cheater knows nobody would ever do that.
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While basketball, baseball, and American football all host a numerous amount of machismo based qualities, there is one main point being missed by the author. Football (Soccer) has one team with minimum subs and stops only once a game. What if a basketball game ran the entire twenty minutes of halftime play without a timeout and the refs didn't stop the clock every 15 seconds of the last 2 or 3 minutes of the game for fouls? What if the game was down to one point and the only way a team could tie or win was a technical foul? You'd bet you're sweet orange balls those well paid (although not as well paid as soccer) athletes would be down on the ground clutching their knees through their over sized shorts. In American football, you have a different team for every aspect of the game. Unless your team has horrible defense or bad offense, the players all get to ride the pine for a considerable part of the game plus all the clock stoppage (Q: how does a one hour game go so damn long? A: ask the sponsors). Baseball has the same problem, not only is it the most overly complicated sport (just short of cricket which it is inspired by) but is reigns as the king of lazy sport. Again there are different teams for different parts of the game. Also, this "running" the bases, I'd love to see 98% of baseball players make it down and back a soccer field without stopping for air or some chew. Plus what's with the tights? If the object is sleekness, losing the trademark beer belly would be a good start. I am amazed that Americans haven't picked up on football (soccer) as well as the rest of the world (sans Canada) given the other sports options. Soccer is as the say "the beautiful game". Players, a ball, and a net for two 45 minute halves, no frills. It seems to me to embody the true spirit of a nation -even ours. Although I suppose our country has grown to accustomed to the commercial breaks so we only have to focus through Milwaukee's finest for short moments at a time. As for the falling down, (1) this happens much more rarely in MLS than over seas (ever seen a domestic game?) and (2) they're not all faking it, cleated football boots hurt like hell.
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