Noted paleontologist Carl Everett of the Chicago White Sox is back to feed us more of his astounding views on life, this time in a Maxim article that is sure to be a big hit in the John Rocker household. Having successfully disproven the existence of dinosaurs, Jurassic Carl now turns his attention to gays, Wrigley Field and Tiger Woods. Here are some of his latest "findings" straight from the July 2005 issue, which I bought strictly for, uh, work-related purposes:
- Wrigley Field needs to be "imploded."
- Tiger Woods is not an athlete.
- "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. ... I don't believe in gay marrages and I don't believe in being gay."
- "It's proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they're watching."
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