The Horror

These monsters must be caught.

The big scoop in Covington this week ... is missing.

In fact, the whole 4-foot-tall, delectably electrified ice-cream cone at the Latonia Dairy Queen has disappeared from its securely bolted perch in the popular spot's Decoursey Avenue parking lot.

Sadly, the ice cream icon's abduction might have been - gasp - somebody's idea of a joke: A DQ employee said the super-sized soft serve was swiped last Friday - April Fool's Day.

The frosty-hearted thief left little for investigators to go on.

"Four-foot ice cream ... cone was in the lot of the business," the police offense report reads coldly.

"Cone was yellow in color, with a white top. Person had to loosen up four bolts, then cut the electrical wires to it to remove it. It is valued at $750."

The figure, of course, is only monetary. A DQ devotee might say such an item is priceless.